Possible conclusion

Over the weekend, I was doing my linguistics homework on phonology, and I really hit me that I really love this stuff. So while I was doing my homework, I was reading up on why people talk the way they do. It can be a health reason, or an effect from like a seizure. It can be because someone's tongue is smaller or bigger than normal. Also if a person does not move their mouth right. I am doing a paper on why autistic kids talk the way they talk, and it is very interesting. But when it happens to you in real life, and you experience something that you never expected before, that is when it really hit me. The other day, my mom suffered from a bad seizure. Because of the impact of the seizure, she lost her speech for a few days. Her words were all scrambled up and backwards. The doctor said it was normal, and that she would return back to normal in a few days, but I am telling you from personal experience that it is scary. To watch the fear in her face, and to hear the wrong words mummbaling out of her mouth was not something you are used to seeing. Then it hit me. I want to work with people who need my help. I want to be a speech teacher. I want to make them better. Even if it is an easy speech problem, or a hard task that occurred from something serious like a seizure. I want to be the person who can make an impact on someone's life by bettering them in the long run. I can finally say that I know what I want to make of my college degree/ years, and give them an actual good reason for why I want to do this for my life career :) My mood is finally satisfied

Blogging is my new addiction.

Just like any other day, I'm still questioning what I am doing with my life. Where am I going to take this college career. What is going to happen for me to decide exactly what I want to teach. At the rate I'm going, I feel like I won't be a teacher for ten years. This feeling is not a very good feeling. So sure today is just like any other day, until a change happens again in my life. I have my basics days, and all the people I really need in my life. My parents are great supporters, and I have this amazing boyfriend. Then I begin to wonder if this will be my life in the future. Call me young, but I have this life plan. The life plan is to graduate, get a masters, get a great teaching job, marry the man I fall in love with, buy a single family house with a bunch of land, get a dog, and then have four kids.  So here's another reason why I want to be a teacher. I want to have a family, and I feel that even though being a teacher is a 24 hour job, so it being a mom. The holidays off are great, and so is the summer. This way  I can still spend time with my family, and not miss to many of my kids accomplishments or anything special in their lives. So I heard that being a teacher is an around the clock job, and for some reason I feel that fits my life perfectly. I am used to being up late, actually I barely sleep. So if i recieve a email late at night, I'll respond. That is what blackberrys are made for. If  I have kids, I am sure they will be up late at night from night mares or whatever things they can use as an excuse like I did as a child :) So teaching is a lifestyle that I can handle. I have no doubt in my mind that I would not be able to handle it. Have a mentioned that since I started blogging, all I think about is what next to write down here. More to come later .

This Blog Thing is making me think more then ever.

I woke up today, and the first thing I did was open a book for school. Actually freakonomics. I feel like the author is just making up things and lying. Sometimes I wonder if I make things up and lie to make myself look good. Well maybe I wouldnt call it a lie, but definitly bending the truth a little bit. When people set high standards for you, like my family has, sometimes I feel like I have to be someone i'm not. Sometimes i have to get a grip and find myself because I get lost in the moment. The funny part is, the book Freakonomics had a reason why the chapters were named the way they were, because Levitt, the author experienced all theses things. So maybe he stretched the  truth sometimes as well as I did to make the book seem better than it actually was.So that idea lead to this next idea. When I become a teacher, I hope that the students walk into my classroom willing to learn and give it all he/ she has, but comes in being themself. Not someone else because their parents expect so much from them. All my school years, I never really felt I was earning A's for myself. It was more like earning an A to make my parents smile. I can't say its a bad thing, but it wasn't done for myself. Another thing i wander is WHY BECOME A TEACHER? My parents didn't graduate highschool. My mom is sick with her heart and seizures, and my father works his butt off to support my family. I have watched him struggle my whole life, and he definitly has been such an inspiration. I hope that my career will make him feel like he has accomplished alot more because in the mist of it all, he was the one who has supported,loved, and paid for me to come this far. Credit to my mom for listening to me complain literally all the time :), but seriously I would like to think that my accomplishments are his accomplishments as well. Also I want to be a teacher because I feel like it will be something that I absolutely love. Who wants to have a miserable job, when you can work to have a job that is the right one for you.  All these ideas jump to another after another. More to come  : )

Undecided and it is driving me CRAZY!

Last week i went to a meeting for education, and i really feel that it is their goal to scare people away. I understand that teaching is a serious job, and alot of work at home and at school. BUTTT that lady seem like it was going to be horrible. It is also very hard to decide what I would like to do because I'm so torn on what I would like to teach. For instance, I said in my past post I would like to be a speech teacher possibly, but on the other hand I really like English. Well i am taking classes right now to help me get the concept of what i would really like to do with my teaching career. I have a Linguistics class, that i loveeeee loveeee loveee, and currently my English classes are not that great. Also I have to consider that this will be a life long commitment, and is this really something I want to do forever? It is alot to take in, and I feel that I am not ready so much to make a decision that is as serious as this one. Thank god college allows you up to two years to decide. So all this back and forth is making me crazy. I keep thinking like it is okay, and that I have time, but then these semesters are flying by and it is making me fear that I am not ready to make this decision. Also the economy is terrible currently, and there are no jobs in the teaching field. 120 of my teachers were laid off last spring. I do not want to go to college, be 100,000 dollars in debt, and come out with a degree that I can not use. Even though I feel like I would enjoy teaching alot, I need to know that I will have a job coming out of college. So all these concerns and questions are putting my brain on overload. It is depressing just thinking about being in debt, and the chance of finding a job is slimm. So i guess i just wait it out, and weigh out the odds and ends when the time comes :(